Everyone knows that becoming a parent will change a lot about you and your lifestyle. It will effect your marriage and all other relationships you have or are going to have for the rest of your life. For Sean and I, we have grown closer and stronger as a couple with each baby we bring home. I know that might sound crazy, but for us its very true. Each pregnancy, each labor, each scary first week, we pull together. We have had three beautiful daughters in four years. Sometimes it can be a struggle to find time for intimacy, but for us, its very important.
Sean and I pulled into the garage, closed the garage door and turned off the engine to our dark blue mini van. Sean didn’t act even slightly annoyed that he was tasked with driving this mini-van around all weekend. My “wear all the babies,” “I used to be cool, #momlife,” and “eat local” car decals slowly chip away at his cool-guy credibility, but I think its sexy how supportive he is of me and the girls. I was sad that we would have to unload the car and go back to being parents. See, most of our “us” time is in shared moments in the car. Whenever we are driving somewhere we get to actually talk to each other. Those three little marriage distractions are safely fastened into their seats, physically restrained from butting in to our time. Parents learn early on that the car can be a wonderful escape. When your newborn just won’t stop fucking crying, take a drive. When your toddler just won’t stop pissing you off at home, take a drive. The car has music, windows full of fresh air, drive-thru opportunities for caffeinated beverages, and those beautiful five-point safety harnesses that keep those bitches strapped down.
Sean and I don’t get a lot of time to just talk anymore. I’m usually running around half-mom half- T-Rex grunting and bitching about something that happened, or something that needs to happen. Weekends stress me out. They deviate from our routines. I built those routines to survive. Sean comes home for the weekend and he screws up my routines will all his fun and laid-back coolness. Which in turn makes me feel like I am a rage monster in a perpetual near-death experience all weekend long. But as always, Monday will return, I will breathe a sigh of relief. I hate that he’s gone back to work, but at least I can crawl back into my routines and survive.
Anyway, get back in the van. We’re sitting there, usually hand in hand because you know we’re just so cute. Typically we unload groceries, or the dozens upon dozens of toys Evie had to bring first. Then we bring the girls in. If we brought the girls in first we would have to try and unload while also continuing to put Millie back inside the house each time the door opened. Who taught her how to walk? I have a few unkind words for that person.
Ok, enough distractions, back in the van. I looked over at Sean and felt an equal amount of stress radiating off of him as I felt within myself. It was Sunday already. The weekend was done. He was so cute, in his t-shirt and hat. I wonder if he will always wear hats. Will that be something the kids use to describe their dad when they are older, “oh yeah my dad he just always wears that hat.” That hat and those t-shirts. I need to get rid of some of those when he goes to work tomorrow… It’s Sunday and we haven’t even had sex yet, how sad. I’m somewhat aroused thinking about getting rid of some of those old t-shirts..I wonder if he is. Of course he is, I think he always is.
“You think if we gave Evie my phone and turned on Netflix that they’d stay in the car long enough without crying for us to go have sex?”
He stared at me.
“For real,” I said smiling probably a little to eagerly to still be considered an attractive smile. “They sit just fine while we unload the groceries.”
He stared at me again. Then turned his head to see if Livie was still sleeping. She was. He grabbed his phone, pulled up Netflix. Tossed it back to Evie.
“We’ll be right back,” he said all sexy and dad-like.
Evie smiled, we climbed out of the van and ran inside.
Let’s just say, we have a new found appreciation for those five-point harnesses. Car seat manufacturers should add *great for containing the little ones while you run in for a quickie* next to all the other safety features.
Weekends definitely deviate from my routines, but somehow he makes it all worth it. Sex doesn’t have to stop after kids, it just has to get more creative.
#athomewithjulie #coffeeconfessions #safetyfirst #healthymarriage #lovemyhusband